Birth of a Parent

Most species don't have grandparents. Humans do. Why? In this final episode of season one, developmental psychologist Alison Gopnik explores a strange feature of human evolution, and what it reveals about childhood, caregiving, and why raising children was never meant to be a job for parents alone. Shownotes: Much of today's conversation draws on Alison Gopnik's bestselling book The Gardener and the Carpenter, in which she argues that the purpose of parenting is not to shape children into a predetermined ideal, but to create the conditions in which children can learn, explore and flourish. The episode explores the Grandmother Hypothesis, the evolutionary theory that humans' unusually long post-reproductive lifespan evolved because grandparents helped raise children and pass knowledge across generations. Alison discusses anthropologist Michael Gurven's research on hunter-gatherer societies, which shows that complex skills such as hunting take decades to master. His work helps explain why older adults—and…

Parenthood may be one of the biggest transformations in human life. So why are there so few stories about it? Franklin Leonard, founder of The Black List, has spent his career identifying overlooked stories. In this conversation, he helps us think about one of the biggest stories we may still be struggling to tell. Shownotes: Much of today's conversation draws on Franklin Leonard's work as the founder of The Black List, the annual survey of Hollywood's most-liked unproduced screenplays, which has helped bring acclaimed films including Juno, The King's Speech and Slumdog Millionaire to the screen. Franklin reflects on Shel Silverstein's classic children's book The Giving Tree, one of the earliest stories he remembers, and one that shaped his understanding of generosity, care and what it means to give without expecting anything in return. The conversation explores why the most compelling stories capture moments of transformation. Franklin reflects on films including Juno, Lars and the Real Girl, Aftersun,…

For much of history, becoming a father came with a script. Today, many of those expectations have disappeared. Richard Reeves explores what happens when old ideas about manhood no longer fit, and why fatherhood may be one of the places where a new script is still being written. Shownotes: Much of today's conversation draws on Richard Reeves' bestselling book Of Boys and Men, in which he explores the changing roles of boys and men in modern society, and why fatherhood may be more important than ever—not just for children, but for fathers themselves. Richard is the founding president of the American Institute for Boys and Men, a non-partisan think tank dedicated to the wellbeing of boys, men and families. Richard reflects on the work of sociologist Andrea Doucet, whose groundbreaking book Do Men Mother? explores the experiences of fathers as primary caregivers and asks what happens when men take on roles that have traditionally been associated with motherhood. Richard reflects on a growing body of research…

Why do children make ordinary things feel extraordinary again? Writer and On Being host Krista Tippett reflects on how becoming a mother transformed the way she sees the world, and why wonder may be one of parenthood's most overlooked gifts. Shownotes: Krista's long-running podcast On Being explores spirituality, ethics, science and what it means to be human. In the episode with Buddhist teacher Sylvia Boorstein Krista reflects on a conversation that reshaped how she understood humility and "new eyes." Krista reflects on the work of bioethicist Laurie Zoloth, whose writing explores what it means to remain in relationship with people who are different from us. Her ethics of encounter suggests that caring for others begins not with agreement, but with a willingness to stay present, even when relationships are difficult. This podcast is part of the Early Childhood Matters platform by the Van Leer Foundation. Very exciting news: Birth of a Parent is a finalist for 6 awards! Please help us win: Lovies: •⁠ ⁠Best…

Before children, a city is something you move through. After children, it's something you start to see. Ecological engineer Nadina Galle explores how parenthood reshapes our relationship with nature—and why even a blade of grass can begin to matter. Shownotes: Nadina's book The Nature of Our Cities explores how technology – from AI to sensors and satellite imagery – can help us better understand, protect and reconnect with urban nature. As a National Geographic Explorer Nadina works at the intersection of ecology, cities and technology. The Internet of Nature is Nadina's concept for using emerging technologies to map, monitor, manage and reconnect people with urban nature. The Emerald Ash Borer natural experiment is one of the strongest pieces of evidence discussed in the episode: The widespread loss of ash trees across North America and its measurable impact on human mortality. Nadina discusses BioBlitzes – community events where people work together to identify as many plants and animals as possible in a…

Every parent eventually becomes the CEO of a small, chaotic organization. Economist and data expert Emily Oster explains what parenting can teach us about decision-making, leadership, and why good management matters more than perfect answers. Shownotes: Much of today's conversation draws on Emily Oster's book The Family Firm, in which she argues that families can benefit from applying principles of good management – such as deliberate decision-making, clear communication and long-term planning – to everyday family life. The episode also touches on Emily's earlier bestselling books, Expecting Better and Cribsheet, which introduced millions of parents to her evidence-based approach to pregnancy and the early years of parenting. Emily reflects on taking part in developmental psychologist Katherine Nelson's research as a child. Nelson's pioneering work explored how conversations between parents and children shape language, memory and the development of autobiographical identity. When discussing negotiation and…

The human brain loves a good explanation. Parenthood has other plans. Science journalist and Radiolab host Lulu Miller explores why we are so determined to make sense of the world, and what happens when life refuses to fit the story. Shownotes: Much of today's conversation draws on Lulu Miller's bestselling book Why Fish Don't Exist, a meditation on our deep human desire to impose order on the natural world, and why embracing uncertainty may ultimately be more liberating. Lulu reflects on the life of David Starr Jordan, the pioneering ichthyologist whose lifelong quest to classify every species of fish became the starting point for Why Fish Don't Exist. His story ultimately led Lulu to explore the promises – and dangers – of our desire to impose order on a messy world. Lulu also reflects on The Eleventh Word, her essay for The Paris Review, in which she explores how her son's first words reshaped the way she thinks about language, parenthood and our illusion of understanding the world. Many of the ideas in…

Why does a bedtime routine feel so important? Anthropologist Dimitris Xygalatas studies rituals, from firewalking ceremonies to family traditions. His work reveals why humans return to rituals whenever life becomes uncertain, and why parenthood may be one of the most ritual-filled experiences of all. Shownotes: Much of today's conversation draws on Dimitris Xygalatas' book The Ritual Effect: From Habit to Ritual, Harness the Surprising Power of Everyday Actions, in which he explores why rituals are a universal feature of human life and how they shape our bodies, minds and relationships. Dimitris also discusses the Bayesian brain, the influential theory that the brain continuously predicts what will happen next and updates those predictions when reality surprises us – a framework that helps explain why rituals can reduce uncertainty. Dimitris leads the Experimental Anthropology Lab at the University of Connecticut, where he studies rituals using tools from psychology, neuroscience and physiology, often in…

Sometimes a child is looking right at you and seems completely elsewhere, and sometimes they're completely with you. Developmental neuroscientist Vicky Leong studies those moments of connection, uncovering how parents and children synchronize their minds and get ready to learn from one another. Shownotes: Victoria Leong – Publications (link) Leong et al. (2017), Speaker gaze increases information coupling between infant and adult brains (link) Natural Pedagogy Theory – Gergely & Csibra (link) Early Childhood Matters Shownotes 2: Vicky’s Speaker Gaze Increases Information Coupling Between Infant and Adult Brains is the landmark study demonstrating that eye contact increases neural synchrony between adults and infants, one of the central findings discussed in this episode. Natural Pedagogy Theory by Gergely & Csibra is a foundational theory proposing that humans are uniquely adapted to teach and learn through social signals such as eye contact, infant-directed speech and shared attention. Browse Vicky Leong's…

Three quarters of animal species undergo metamorphosis. Why are we so sure humans don't? Historian of science Oren Harman takes us from butterflies to starfish in search of an answer, and toward a surprising way of thinking about what happens when a baby turns someone into a parent. Shownotes: Much of the conversation draws on Oren Harman's exploration of metamorphosis across the natural world in his book Metamorphosis: A Natural and Human History. Long before founding psychoanalysis, a young Sigmund Freud spent weeks dissecting hundreds of eels in an unsuccessful search for their reproductive organs at the Zoological Station in Trieste. Oren reflects on Ludwig Wittgenstein's famous proposition: "Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent," from Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus. This podcast is part of the Early Childhood Matters platform by the Van Leer Foundation. Very exciting news: Birth of a Parent is a finalist for 6 awards! Please help us win: Lovies: •⁠ ⁠Best New Podcast --…

For centuries, scientists studied what pregnancy does to the body. Almost nobody studied what it does to the brain. Neuroscientist Susana Carmona helped change that, uncovering evidence that motherhood reshapes the human brain in ways scientists are only beginning to understand. Shownotes: Susana's book A Mother’s Brain brings together the latest research on how pregnancy and motherhood reshape the brain, body and identity. Susana leads the NeuroMaternal Lab in Madrid, where much of the research discussed in this episode is conducted. Browse Susana's scientific publications on pregnancy, the maternal brain and parental neuroplasticity. One of the world's largest biomedical databases, the UK Biobank, was used in studies showing that pregnancy leaves measurable, long-term signatures in the brain. Several of Susana's findings relate to changes in the brain's Default Mode Network, a network involved in self-reflection, memory and understanding other people. The London Taxi Driver Study is the classic…

Why would evolution redesign a man's body after he has children? Anthropologist Lee Gettler helped uncover a surprising answer. His research on hormone changes including testosterone suggests that fatherhood doesn't just change how men think and feel, it changes their biology too. Shownotes: Lee’s landmark study Longitudinal Evidence that Fatherhood Decreases Testosterone in Human Males showed that men's testosterone levels decline after becoming fathers, helping reshape our understanding of paternal biology. The Cebu Longitudinal Health and Nutrition Survey (CLHNS) is one of the world's longest-running birth cohort studies, following thousands of families in the Philippines. Many of Lee's landmark findings on fatherhood are based on this dataset. Ruth Feldman's pioneering research on oxytocin, caregiving and parent–infant bonding is discussed during the episode. Explore Lee Gettler's research on fatherhood, hormones and human development. This podcast is part of the Early Childhood Matters platform by the…

When a baby is born, a parent is born too. But what if that's more than a metaphor? Birth of a Parent explores the emerging science of how parenthood transforms the human mind. Host Michael Feigelson speaks with leading scientists, writers, and thinkers to investigate whether becoming a parent is one of life's most profound – and least understood – developmental stages. By following the podcast, you support our message and never miss an episode. The first episodes will be available from 22 July. Follow the podcast here so you never miss an episode. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.