Counseling Talk — A podcast by 9Marks

Deepak Hayley and Garrett talk about what to do and what not to do when you break up. Resources Mentioned Who Should I Date? Relationship Advice in a Real World by William P. Smith Starting Over: How Not to Screw Up Your Relationship by William P. Smith

Deepak, Haley and Garrett discuss things that go wrong in a dating church culture. Resources Mentioned Single and Lonely by Jayne Clark Struggling Through Your Singleness by Jayne Clark

Garrett, Deepak and Hayley interview Desiring God ministries President & CEO Marshall Segal on his book “Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating. Resources: Not Yet Married: The Pursuit of Joy in Singleness and Dating

Deepak, Garrett and Hayley talk about 13 F's that help you to assess your dating relationship. Mentioned Resources: 13 Fs Dating Assessment PDF Disclosing Past Sexual Sin in a Dating Relationship by Garrett Kell

Deepak, Hayley and Deepak about about what the Bible says on physical and emotional intimacy.

Garrett, Deepak and Hayley talk about ALIGNMENT in dating. How do you move from an informal to a more formal relationship? Resources MentionedShe’s Got the Wrong Guy: Why Smart Women Settle by Deepak Reju

Garrett, Hayley and Deepak start season 4 with a conversation about dating, starting with the role of appreciation and attraction.

Deepak, Hayley and Garrett talk about using Scripture as homework. Resources Mentioned: 31-Day Devotionals for Life (Series) Workbooks and resources from Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation

Deepak, Hayley and Garrett talk about the importance of homework and how and when to assign it in counseling. Sounds boring but it’s more important than you might realize! Resources Mentioned Good and Angry by David Powlison

Garrett, Deepak and Hayley interview Ellen on a woman’s battle with sexual sin. Resources MentionedSexual Sanity for Women by Ellen Dykas Sex and the Single Girl by Ellen Dykas Your Dating Relationship and Your Sexual Past by Ellen Dykas What’s Wrong with a Little Porn? (single version) – Harvest USA What’s Wrong with a Little Porn? (married version) – Harvest USA Harvest USA

Garrett, Hayley and Deepak offer ten thoughts for singles on why and how to fight for purity. Resources Mentioned: Pure in Heart: Sexual Sin and the Promises of God by Garrett Kell Pornography: Fighting for Purity by Deepack Reju Single and Lonely: Finding the Intimacy You Desire by Jayne Clark Struggling Through Singleness: Help for the Journey by Jane Clark

Deepak, Hayley, and Garrett talk about the good and bad about medications and working with doctors. Resources MentionedDescriptions and Prescriptions by Michael Emlet Listening to Prozac…and to the Scriptures Article by Michael Emlet Can We Be Positive About Psychiatric Medications? Article by Ed Welch Why do we seem negative about psychiatric medications? Article by Ed Welch

Deepak, Hayley and Garrett interview counselor and author Ed Welch about the experience of depression and how to minister to those who suffer from it.

Garrett, Hayley and Deepak share how to care for a friend struggling with depression. Resources MentionedDepression: Finding Christ in the Darkness by Ed Welch (31-day Devotional) Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness by Ed Welch “Tortured, Imperfect, and Held by Jesus” – article by Garrett Kell

Hayley, Deepak and Garrett talk about depression and how to think about depression as complicated suffering. Resources Mentioned Depression: Finding Christ in the Darkness by Ed Welch (31-day Devotional) Depression: Looking Up from the Stubborn Darkness by Ed Welch “Tortured, Imperfect, and Held by Jesus” – article by Garrett Kell

Garrett, Hayley and Deepak talk about what the Bible says about depression. Warning label: This episode also talks about a depressed person’s battle with suicide. Resources Mentioned Depression: Finding Christ in the Darkness by Ed Welch Spurgeon’s Sorrows by Zack Eswine

Garrett, Hayley and Deepak talk about how to offer a good or bad apology and why we struggle to apologize. Resources Mentioned The Peacemaker by Ken Sande

Garrett, Deepak and Hayley interview pastor and counselor Chris Moles, who says you can’t bully a bully. You change a person’s anger with kindness, compassion and forgiveness. Resources Mentioned Uprooting Anger by Robert D. Jones https://www.chrismoles.org https://www.menofpeace.org

Garrett, Hayley and Deepak explore redemptive strategies for dealing with anger problems and growing in faith in Christ. Books Mentioned Anger: Calming Your Heart (31-Day Devotional) by Robert D. Jones A Small Book for The Anxious Heart by Edward T. Welch The Peacemaker by Ken Sande War of Words by Paul David Tripp Other Resources "Moving Toward, Away and Against" Chart (This chart is from the CCEF Marriage Counseling course taught by Winston Smith, 2010) Bible Verses on Anger

Garrett, Hayley and Deepak talk about how people change when they're wrestling with anger. What should we believe, say, think and do if we want to overcome our anger. Resources mentioned: The Heart of Anger by Steve Midgley and Christopher Ash Angry Children: Understanding and Helping Your Children Regain Control by Mike Emlet (Booklet)

Garrett, Deepak and Hayley introduce the topic of anger and reflect on their own struggles and encounters with it. They explore the complexity of anger—how it can be both righteous and sinful, hot and cold. The discussion sets the foundation for upcoming episodes on addressing and counseling anger in a Christ-centered way. Resources mentioned: Good and Angry by David Powlison Controlling Anger (Mini-book) by David Powlison Uprooting Anger by Robert D. Jones The Heart of Anger by Christopher Ash & Steve Midgley Anger: Escaping The Maze (Mini-book from P&R Publishing)

Deepak, Garrett, and Hayley talk about the good and bad qualities of a listener and how to grow in your skill of listening.

Hayley, Garrett and Deepak interview Abby Wedgeworth (author of best-selling book HELD) about how to care for women who have suffered from a miscarriage. Resources Mentioned: Held: 31 Biblical Reflections on God’s Comfort and Care in the Sorrow of Miscarriage by Abby Wedgworth Ours: Biblical Comfort for Men Grieving Miscarriage by Eric Schumacher Dark Clouds, Deep Mercy: Discovering the Grace of Lament by Mark Vroegop

Hayley, Garrett and Deepak offer 5 Do's and 5 Don'ts in coming alongside those who have suffered with infertility or miscarriage.

Hayley, Garrett and Deepak consider the painful experiences of infertility and miscarriage, and how the Lord walks with us in our grief.

What do you do when you're feeling stuck in counseling? How do you help someone when it feels like nothing is changing? Hayley, Deepak and Garrett offer eleven suggestions on how to get unstuck!

Hayley and Deepak talk with Ellen Dykas about the problems of relational idolatry. What can you do when you turn an important relationship into an idol? How can you find satisfaction in Christ rather than a person in your life? 31 Day Devotional on Toxic Relationship Sexual Sanity for Women Sex and the Single Girl Harvest USA Article: Close Friends and Entangled Hearts: Dykas and Powlison.

Garrett, Hayley and Deepak interview the Dunhams about their journey through Krista’s eating disorder. Dave and Krista explain how she let go of control, sorted through all of the unhelpful things she was told, and in the end, centered her life around Christ.

Garrett, Hayley and Deepak explore 12 principles that people struggling with eating disorders should follow, like facing their shame, turning down the outside cultural influences, fighting against perfectionism and pride, addressing ungodly fears, and much more!

Garrett, Hayley and Deepak think about how pastors can care for a member who confesses a battle with an eating disorder. What are the theological, medical and practical considerations? How does the gospel change this dilemma?

Garrett, Hayley and Deepak think about what the Bible has to say about food and our relationship with food. Related resources:Helping Bulimics by Elyse Fitzpatrick Helping Anorexics by Elyse Fitzpatrick Disorderly Eating... for the Rest of Us by Elyse Fitzpatrick

The decision to bring the counseling process to a close is sometimes clear, but often not. In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak Reju, Garrett Kell, and Hayley Satrom talk about how to end counseling sessions. Related resources The Discipleship River by Steve Viars

In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak, Garrett, and Hayley interview Michael Gembola, the author of After an Affair. Related resources:After an Affair by Michael Gembola

In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak Reju, Garrett Kell, and Hayley Satrom finish their mini-series on adultery, talking about reconciliation after adultery. Related resources:My Spouse Was Unfaithful: Finding Strength in God's Presence by Robert Jones Forgiveness by Garrett Kell Disclosing Past Sexual Sin in a Dating Relationship by Garrett Kell Forgiveness: Reflecting God's Mercy by Hayley Satrom Subscribe to our new podcast, A Storm in the Desert.

What should counselors do when adultery comes to light? In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak Reju, Garrett Kell, and Hayley Satrom continue their mini-series on adultery. Related resources:Restoring Your Broken Marriage: Healing After Adultery by Robert Jones After an Affair by Michael Gembola

In this episode of Counseling Talk, Garrett, Deepak, and Hayley begin a 3-part series on adultery and discuss what the Bible says about adultery. Related resources:Envision the End of Your Sin by Garrett Kell Help! My Spouse Committed Adultery: First Steps for Dealing with Betrayal by Winston Smith Subscribe to our new podcast, A Storm in the Desert.

Counseling Talk is back for season 2! In this episode, Garrett, Deepak, and Hayley discuss how to ask good questions in a counseling session. They share personal stories and practical examples that they have seen over the years. X-ray Questions: Drawing Out the Whys and Wherefores of Human Behavior by David Powlison The Pastor and Counseling by Deepak Reju and Jeremy Pierre A Do-It-Yourself Marriage Retreat by Deepak Reju

In this final episode of Counseling Talk Season 1, Deepak Reju, Hayley Satrom, and Garrett Kell interview John Henderson on how to fight anxiety. Related resources:Running Scared by Ed Welch When I'm Afraid by Ed Welch A Small Book on Anxious Heart by Ed Welch Anxiety: Knowing God's Peace by Paul Tautges John Henderson on anxiety at DRBC

In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak Reju, Garrett Kell, and Hayley Satrom share common mistakes that counselors make and how to avoid them. Related resources:Is It Abuse? by Darby Strickland

How do we fight our anxiety and how we help others fight it? In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak Reju, Hayley Satrom, and Garrett Kell finish the mini-series on anxiety. Related resources:Engaging with God in the Midst of Anxiety by Deepak Reju A Small Book on Anxious Heart by Ed Welch Anxiety: Knowing God's Peace by Paul Tautges

What does the Bible say about anxiety? Listen to the second episode of a mini-series on anxiety as Deepak Reju, Hayley Satrom, and Garrett Kell discuss. Related Resource: Help, I don't know where my anxiety is coming from by Mike Emlet and Winston Smith Hope in an Anxious World – Helen Thorne Overcoming Anxiety – David Powlison

Anxiety is the spiritual x-ray that God uses to reveal who or what you worship. In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak Reju, Hayley Satrom, and Garrett Kell start the first of three episodes on anxiety. Related resourcesJohn Henderson on anxiety at DRBC Ed Welch's Running Scared and When I'm Afraid

Related resources: https://www.heartsongcounseling.org/ C4 announcementC4 is a group of like-minded Christian counseling centers across the country that are joining together to foster a spirit of mutual edification and encouragement among its members by providing opportunities for care, consultation, content collaboration, and continuing education. If you’re interested in learning more about C4, visit our website.

In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak, Hayley, and Garrett interview Esther Liu about shame and how pastors and counselors can view shame in the light of Scripture and the gospel. Related ResourcesShame Interrupted: How God Lifts the Pain of Worthlessness and Rejection by Ed Welch Shame: Being Known and Loved by Esther Liu

Reconciliation after confessing a struggle of pornography can be difficult. In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak Reju, Hayley Satrom, and Garrett Kell finish up a series on pornography as they lay out principles for godly reconciliation. Resources for Show 3 - Dating and Marriage Rescue Plan and Rescue Skills by Jonathan Holmes and Deepak Reju Redeem Your Marriage: Hope for Husbands Who Have Hurt Through Pornography by Curtis Solomon Reclaim Your Marriage: Grace for Wives Who Have been Hurt by Pornography by Jenny Solomon

What you retreat to for refreshment turns into love. For some Christians, that's pornography. In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak Reju, Hayley Satrom, and Garrett Kell share some of the practical tools that can be useful in helping someone fight this difficult battle. Resources resources 31-Day Devotional on Porn by Deepak Reju Hide & Seek by John Freeman Rescue Skills: Essential Skills for Restoring the Sexually Broken by Jonathan Holmes and Deepak Reju

In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak Reju, Hayley Satrom, and Garrett Kell start a mini-series on pornography and how pastors and members can help one another fight the battle. Resources for Show 1 - Porn Overview David Powlison’s book: Making All Things New: Restoring the Joy to the Sexually Broken David Powlison’s article: Sexual Sin - The Wider and the Deeper Battle Garrett’s book Pure in Heart Strategies for Closing Off Access Points Here are some practical steps to consider as you help an addict to get rid of his access points. 1. Ask the struggler about every e-device he owns. 2. Encourage him or her to get a software monitoring program, such as Covenant Eyes, and put it on all his devices. 3. Get rid of standard web browsers and rely on a browser that is carefully monitored. 4. Get rid of the applications store. If a new app needs to be downloaded onto a tablet or phone, provide access only temporarily. 5. Use special restrictions to cut out the web browser and app store, set time limits, and so…

Seeing your children to come to faith should be every parent's desire. But what happens when they don't? In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak Reju, Hayley Satrom, and Garrett Kell interview Stuart Scott about his new book, Wayward Children: Finding Peace, Keeping Hope. Related resources: Wayward Children: Finding Peace, Keeping Hope

Christians expect strict confidentiality when speaking of their own sins. But is that good for them? In this episode of Counseling Talk, Deepak Reju, Hayley Satrom, and Garrett Kell discuss how to shepherd secrets for gospel purposes. Related resources:Discipling by Mark Dever Is It Loving to Practice Church Discipline? Jonathan Leeman Church Membership by Jonathan Leeman You’re a Pastor, Not a Therapist by Jeremy Pierre

When members of the church suffer it provides a unique opportunity to show tangible love. In this episode of Counseling Talk, Garrett Kell shares with Deepak Reju and Hayley Satrom practical ways of how God’s people loved his family during their season of suffering. Related Resources: The Kell Story Part 1 CaringBridge for Eden Kell A Do-It-Yourself Marriage Retreat by Deepak Reju Heart Song Counseling The Center for Biblical Living Fieldstone Counseling Cross Care Counseling Anchored Hope